WHAT'S HOLDING YOU BACK? — Inspiring And Empowering Ladies

We’ve all been in this place before, where we feel like we are not moving in either direction but we are just stagnant. And we often question why, what, who is holding us back. And more often than not I believe the answer is Self sabotage. It’s essentially the person looking back at us when we look in the mirror. Crazy I know right. But don’t worry, you are not alone, at some point we all experience self sabotage and usually more than we care to acknowledge.

Self sabotage shows up in various forms. One of them being fear of the unknown. Why, because it’s frightening. As human beings we desire stability, we love to plan, and to see the finish line before we’ve begun the race. We want all of the information and a map of which course to follow so that we can feel like we are in control. In other words we want to be in the know, instead of being left in the dark! We love utilizing our GPS to show us the steps, ETA, and potential roadblocks, and or accidents when in route to our destination.

Due to the fear of the unknown we take no action, our life is stifled, our dreams put on hold, as a result we accomplish no forward progression and reap no rewards. We often perceive a negative outcome when we aren’t given the blueprint. Our past experiences also play a role in our ability to self sabotage because our brains remember the less than favorable outcomes, and its job is to protect us from experiencing that disappointment again. As a result we self sabotage without giving it a second thought.

While self sabotage is familiar, we can break the cycle., by self examining and implementing the suggestions below.

Expose yourself to the feared idea, situation or event. In other words face your fears head on.
Change your focus from the perceived threat to obtaining a bountiful reward.
Come up with 3 strategies that will assist you in countering your stumbling block.
Pursue 1 goal this week that makes you both excited and nervous.
Do something outside of your normal routine to shock your brain into being less rigid.

Let’s put these suggestions into practice with this scenario below.

You were recently diagnosed with cancer, you are a ball of emotions. One minute you were sitting on top of the world and now you feel as if your world has been turned upside down. And to be honest it has, life as you know it is no more. Your emotions are all over the place. You are fearful, and the furthest thing on your mind is control. You were independent and now you are depending on others for your basic needs. And you have to decide how to go on.

Will you go through aggressive treatment such as surgery, chemotherapy and radiation?

Will you be able to support yourself?

Will you go on defeated or victorious?

Will you remain hopeful or hopeless?

Photo by Alex Green from Pexels — Photo by **Alex Green** from **Pexels**

You’ve cried your eyes out.

You have good days and bad days.

You're experiencing sunshine and rain.

Your body is going through so much.

Your hair is falling out.

You're vomiting excessively.

You're physically exhausted.

You're in pain.

Your appetite is almost nonexistent.

You have so many doctor’s visits.

You are taking so many prescriptions.

Photo Credit: freestocks.org from Pexels — Photo Credit: **freestocks.org** from **Pexels**

But instead of focusing on the cancer you are grateful to get another chance at life, because someone else didn’t get that chance. You decide LIFE is the reward that you’ll continue striving for. LIFE itself is a gift and you will keep up the fight because you are a SURVIVOR! You will lean on your faith. You will look to God for strength. You have a team of supporters cheering you on. You will read inspirational and self help books. You will join a support group for those who’ve fought and beat cancer. On a weekend when you’re feeling up to it , and you don’t have any appointments you go to a local wellness retreat. You pamper yourself with a facial, massage, a chef prepared gourmet meal, you journal, you read, you reflect, and you talk with God. You’ve been saying you would love to try yoga and meditation so you indulge. You couldn’t remember the last time you took time to practice self care prior to this diagnosis. This is the first time in a long time that you’ve felt at one with yourself. Your relationship with God is stronger than ever. You have cancer, yet cancer doesn’t have YOU! You have decided that you will answer your fears, and feelings of uncertainty with Faith because there’s a bright future ahead. There’s still so much left for you to do, and cancer will NOT hold you back!

Health is wealth. Illness is an element of life that often gives us a different perspective and a heightened sense of awareness. If a person battling cancer can press forward, remain hopeful, and express gratitude. What’s stopping YOU? Don’t put off until tomorrow what can be done today. Stop self sabotaging and go after the life you want with your whole heart, so that you can OWN YOUR FUTURE!

Remember we are all given a divine PURPOSE. While in route to fulfilling our unique purpose we all experience varying detours, but God will always be there to guide us along the way!

Dedicated to Jennifer (Fer Fer) Renee Williams & Melissa (Missy) Williams.