STOP PRESSING REWIND AND HIT DELETE — Inspiring And Empowering Ladies

We have all said in one form or another, that if I could go back I would do this differently. This applies to romantic/platonic relationships and the loss of a loved one. We are constantly looking for an opportunity to do things over but if we were given that what would it truly experience. Instead of looking backwards and consuming guilt, fear shame, and doubt we should be learning the lesson, moving forward, and experiencing freedom. Instead, we keep ourselves in bondage. Essentially we are beating ourselves up and God would like us to forgive ourselves as he has. We must begin extending grace to ourselves and viewing ourselves as God views us.

We must quit replaying failed scenarios in our minds, it’s counterproductive to our consciousness. There’s no guarantee that things would’ve turned out differently if we could turn back the hands of time. Also, we usually hold onto people, places, and things that God is trying to remove. We ask God for a sign but instead of being open to what he’s showing us our vision becomes impaired and we tighten our grip. We must remind ourselves that everything occurred exactly as it should, and while we may not understand it we must make peace with it. We often tell others not to disturb our peace, yet we disturb it with the self-sabotaging thoughts that are running rampant in our minds.

Hopefully, the examples below will provide clarity.

Example 1:

You’ve gotten into a heated argument with someone close to you, as you replay the argument in your mind. You think of a better rebuttal. Instead of letting things cool down, you’ve added fuel to the fire, and now another argument has ensued unnecessarily. Tempers are flared, things are getting uglier, the things said can’t be taken back and the damage done is irreconcilable for some time and/or permanently.

A better way to handle this situation would’ve been to sleep on it, and give yourself and the other party involved time to cool down, instead of pressing rewind you could’ve deleted the need to be right and have the last word, sincerely apologized, asked for forgiveness for the role you played and moved on. This allows you to operate in love, not discord, and the relationship with your loved one to remain intact.

Example 2:

You and your significant other broke up due to infidelity which resulted in a baby. You are extremely hurt. You’re having a hard time moving on. You cannot believe he has done this to you. Especially when you’ve been nothing but great to him. You keep asking yourself what you could’ve done better. You begin seeing other guys that you’re not really interested in but you’re on the rebound and you are lowkey seeking revenge. You take pictures with other guys posting them on social media for the world, but mostly him to see. He calls you enraged and says there is no chance of reconciliation because you betrayed his trust and you were supposed to be loyal to him no matter what. (The level of toxicity) Now you are even more enraged, you feel worse than you did before, and continue asking yourself why were you so stupid. And you begin using illicit drugs to numb the pain.

A better way to handle this situation would’ve been to end the relationship and begin loving yourself and strengthening your relationship with God. Your energy should never be spent seeking revenge but on healing. His choices had nothing to do with you as a woman, and or partner. When a man isn’t secure within himself, he looks to women to fill that void. Unfortunately, his lust for you expired and has now been transferred elsewhere. Love lasts forever but lust has an expiration date. Don’t subject yourself to anything that you don’t have to, including but not limited to lying, cheating, betrayal, and disrespect. Protect your peace by leaving, unfriending, unfollowing, blocking, and deleting!

Example 3:

Your cousin who was more like a sister to you died at a very young age in a car accident. These last few years you guys had grown apart because she betrayed your confidence. While you guys still talked the relationship never returned to the way it used to be simply because you are very passionate about loyalty and struggle at times with forgiving completely. When you found out about her sudden and untimely death you become physically ill and cannot stop crying hysterically. You’ve never experienced death this close to you before, and you don’t know how to cope. You are asking God why and believed you all had so much more time.

As heartbroken as you are you cannot go back and change things. God called her home, and this was beyond your control. Your cousin knew you loved her, and before her death, you verbally expressed your love to her. Instead of beating yourself up about what you could’ve and should’ve done allow it to be a lesson to love hard and forgive quickly because life is short, and young or old when God calls we are going. Pray and ask God to give you peace regarding her death and cherish the memories you created together. Take the time you need to grieve but delete the guilt and shame that you are placing on yourself, it’s too great of a burden to bear.

Hopefully, those examples above provided you with some insight on why you should stop pressing rewind and hit delete. Dr. Dharius Daniels once said, “When clarity becomes greater, decisions become easier.” While it is much easier said than done we must stop living in the past, and look towards the future. It will allow us to have better relationships with God, ourselves, and others. Decide today to choose freedom from guilt, shame, and doubt to live in peace.

Peace, Love, and Blessings!