HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Everyone desires to be home for the holidays, in the company of their loved ones. Some aren’t able to be home for the holidays because they are away at college, serving in the military or incarcerated. With the recent senseless deaths of Alexis Crawford, Kamille “Cupcake” McKinney, and Botham Jean, it made me think of all the families who will be grieving the death of loved ones during the holiday season. A seat at the table, which was once occupied, will now be empty and it will never be the same as it once was. They can only cherish the memories and reflect back on the holidays when they were once together laughing, joking, cooking, singing, dancing etc. A once jovial time will now be plagued with sadness because a piece of their heart is gone forever.
We must live in the present because life is short and tomorrow isn’t promised. I urge you not to take family gatherings and spending time with your loved ones for granted. In life, there are no rewinds, the clock just keeps ticking, days become weeks, weeks become months, and months become years. Do your best to spread love, light, peace and joy to others. Shower your loved ones with love instead of meeting them with criticism and judgment. Embrace them tighter when giving a hug, and don’t minimize the importance of saying I love you.
Before eating Thanksgiving dinner, have everyone go around the table and share what they’re grateful for. If you must purchase something from the store during the Black Friday sale, do it online instead of going out to the stores and dealing with the traffic and crowds. Volunteer together as a family at your local hospital, nursing home or soup kitchen. It’s essential to give back; it’s an act of kindness and a symbol of love. Go to church as a family. Before exchanging Christmas presents, share what you cherish most about your family member. (Example: Mom I cherish the moments when you listen attentively to me while I pour out my heart, meeting me with comfort and consoling words.) Instead of buying Christmas cards to send out, make them together as a family. One thing I remember doing as a child with my family was decorating the Christmas tree while listening to the Jackson 5 Christmas songs.
While I still give my daughter gifts on Christmas, I’ve decided to cut back on materialistic gifts this year and give the things that money can’t buy. I will shift the narrative by creating memories with her by means of spending quality time together, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows, baking Christmas cookies, watching our favorite Christmas movies, and singing our favorite Christmas songs in our matching Christmas pajamas.
We have all experienced the death of a loved one. While actively grieving, we tend to remember the importance of family, but once the dust settles and we get back into our daily routines, we tend to take our loved ones for granted, thinking we have time to get it right. The time is now to live fully, laugh until you’re crying, and love deeply. I urge you to enjoy your loved ones while you can because they’re many who would love to wish upon a star to be right where you are. To all of those who are grieving because their loved one will never be home for the holidays, you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
For all of the holidays to come remember to:
H-Hug your loved ones tighter.
O-Open your ears to listen attentively.
L-Love your family with your whole heart.
I-Invest with your time.
D-Declare your gratitude/love.
A-Acts of kindness.
Y-Yesterday is gone, live for today because tomorrow is NOT promised.
