EMBRACING YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AS A MINORITY — Inspiring And Empowering Ladies

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Mental health is often disregarded in the black community, yet we are not exempt from trauma, feeling anxious and depressed, or having mental illnesses. We often experience intense facets of trauma yet we avoid counseling, coaching, and therapy. When experiencing a mental health crisis we are often told to pray about it, yet our trauma requires more than faith alone. Some of the trauma we experience is verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse often at the hands of our own family members, family friends, or those whom our family entrusted to take care of us. We are also often silenced or shamed for speaking the truth, and speaking up for ourselves. As a result, we learn that our voices and opinions don’t matter. Many of us have been taught toxic rhetoric like, “What goes on in this house stays in this house.”, but in reality, everything that goes on in the house shouldn’t stay in the house because we are often being victimized in what is supposed to be our “safe space". We often have nobody to run to when we need them the most. As a result of dismissing counseling, coaching, and therapy our community is plagued with undiagnosed mental illnesses, abusers, drug addicts, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, death by suicide, adults behaving like children, and toxic individuals repeating the same vicious cycles.

We have no idea how to forgive, heal, or let go because we have not been given the proper tools. We believe dysfunction is normal. Unresolved issues in our childhood manifest in adulthood when we least expect it in various manners. Some of which are placing blame on others, trying to fix others, trying to please everyone and feeling guilty when we put ourselves first, co-dependency, seeking external validation, living on high alert, fear of abandonment, needing to prove ourselves because we lack self-worth, tolerating abusive behavior, attracting toxic partners, and the inability to set/enforce boundaries. When one lacks good coping skills they resort to self-harming behaviors. As a result of the unresolved trauma, we fail to live up to our fullest potential as adults.

We tend to get in our heads more often than not, yet when we can express ourselves freely we often realize we can be our own worst enemies. We are a ball of emotions and they have nowhere to go so we harbor them inside. We have tons of things on our mind especially today as we are currently battling the COVID-19 pandemic, economic despair, businesses closing, layoffs, unexpected termination, furloughs, travel restrictions, our new normal of wearing face masks whenever in public, tons of uncertainty, inability to plan ahead, deciding whether we should send our children back to school this fall, systemic racism, injustice, police brutality, death at the hands of the police, etc. Life, in general, causes our emotions to run high, minds to wander, nerves to be bad, and sadness coupled with all of the surprises of 2020.

We often desire the results yet we are not ready and willing to do the work, the work that requires you to admit that you need help because you don’t have it all together. This is more often than not the most difficult work, the work that requires you to dig deep revealing your deepest and darkest truths, recalling the painful moments, and calling things as they are, not the way we would like them to be. In other words, for therapy and counseling to be a benefit instead of detriment, you must be willing, to be honest, vulnerable, and transparent.

When selecting a life coach, counselor, or therapist, choose someone you can relate to in some form or fashion. In doing so you will be able to establish a rapport. Ensure that they are objective as this will help you to express yourself freely without feeling pressured or judged. If you find that the life coach, counselor, or therapist you selected originally is not a good fit, don’t be afraid to seek another one, after all, your health, healing, and life is at stake.

There is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to your mental health. Your mental health impacts your physical, social, vocational, spiritual, and emotional health. When one or more of your various aspects of health are affected you are not able to function optimally. In taking charge of your mental health, you are stepping into your power! You are not alone, there are people ready and willing to help you along the journey.

In addition to coaching, counseling, and therapy, reading and journaling are also beneficial. Reading on various aspects of mental health educates you and reassures you that you are not alone. Journaling is an excellent outlet because there may be some things you may not be able to express verbally that you can express while writing. Keep in mind that healing won’t happen overnight so be willing to give yourself grace. Also, in order for coaching, counseling, and or therapy to work, you must remove the walls and let down your guard. You didn’t cause the trauma, but you are responsible for your healing. After all your breakthrough is waiting for you on the other side.

Mental & Emotional Health Books To Read

Heavy by Kiese Laymon
Emotional Resilience: How To Safeguard Your Mental Health by Dr. Harry Barry
Willow Weep For Me: A Black Woman’s Journey Through Depression by Meri Nana-Ama Danquah
The Unapologetic Guide To Black Mental Health by Rheeda Walker
Preventing Bipolar Relapse: A Lifestyle Program to Help You Maintain A Balanced Mood & Live Well by Dr. Ruth C. White
Find the Good: Unexpected Life Lessons From A Small Town Obituary Writer by Heather Lende
Soothe Your Nerves: The Black Woman’s Guide to Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety, Panic and Fear by Dr. Angela Neal-Barnett
Success From The Inside Out: Power to Rise From The Past To A Fulfilling Future by Nona Jones
The Color of Hope: People of Color Mental Health Narratives by Iresha Picot
The Strength of A Woman, An Anthology Arranged by Melony Hill
I’m Telling The Truth, but I’m Lying: Essays by Bassey Ikpi
The Body Keeps The Score: Brain, Mind, and Body In The Healing of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
72 Hour Hold by Bebe Moore Campbell
Control Your Mind and Master Your Feelings by Eric Robertson
Shook One: Anxiety Playing Tricks on Me by Charlamagne tha god
Bipolar Faith by Monica A. Coleman
The Mother of Black Hollywood: A Memoir by Jenifer Lewis
Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting by Terrie M. Williams
Too Heavy A Yoke: Black Women and The Burden of Strength by Chanequa Walker-Barnes
Unashamed by Lecrae

Mental & Emotional Health Journals

Positive Thought Journal by Dominique M. Williams
The Balanced Mind: A Mental Health Journal: Exploratory Prompts and Effective Practices by Carolyn Mehlomakulu
Count Your Blessings: A Gratitude Journal by Dominique M. Williams
Practicing Mindfulness: 75 Essential Meditations To Reduce Stress, Improve Mental Health, and Find Peace in the Everyday by Matthew Sockolov
The Stress Management Workbook: De-Stress In 10 Minutes or Less by Ruth C. White

Dominique M. Williams is a Mother, Registered Nurse, Blogger, Editor In Chief, Author, Speaker, Certified Life Coach, and Founder of Inspiring & Empowering Ladies LLC. Dominique's mission is to inspire, empower, and enrich the lives of others daily. Inspiring and Empowering Ladies is an organization striving to ensure that girls and women develop a greater sense of self through self-love, self-worth, confidence, self-esteem, and know how to cultivate healthy relationships. To learn more about Dominique’s life coaching services click here: https://mymentor.life/dominiquewilliams